Another company holiday party has come and gone. I celebrated the season with others from my company at the Portland City Grill and it was a great time, with really delicious food and fantastic views of Portland from the 30th floor of Bancorp Tower. It's always fun to put on some fancy clothes and sit down for an elegant meal with the wonderful people I've worked with for the past three and a half years at Axium. They are just delightful folks who collaborate well and share a passion for excellence and a commitment to our clients' success. I guess I can be a bit of a sap, but I genuinely like just about every single person at Axium, and it never ceases to amaze me how warm I feel toward everyone during this time of the year when we take time to celebrate together. It's fun to meet spouses and girlfriends, dates, life partners and friends of the people I spend so many hours a week with. I like getting a chance to know my colleagues better by meeting and sharing conversation with their loved ones, and, well, I'm just a very social person at times.
Tonight I had my sweetheart with me, just as he's been with me at the last two holiday parties Axium's hosted. This is not an unusual occurance at all. Meeting and greeting my co-workers and friends is becoming old hat for him, I think, and people are definitely more familiar with him. But I tell you what - three really must be a charm, because I felt uncommonly at peace and complete at this third party we've come to arm in arm. Gone is the self-consciousness of showing up with someone new, like I did at our first party. And I don't want to think too much about our conflicted hearts at last year's party, as we had reached an unpleasant and painful crossroads in our relationship. It was a moment which marked the beginning of the end for that part of our relationship. Though we remained close friends, we did part ways as a couple shortly after that holiday event last year. We're fortunate to have found our way back to each other recently, armed with hindsight, personal reflection and growth, and a deep appreciation of each other that never really went away.
As I dressed and put on makeup tonight, feeling sparkly and full of happy anticipation for the night's events, my thoughts kept drifting to how alienated we had become a year ago, when our communication started missing and a rift grew between us. I was and am keenly aware of the significance of this anniversary of sorts, but I am also very aware and very thankful for the growth we've both experienced since then. I knew tonight would be a very different night than it was last year. Tonight was very, very special. For me, it felt like the closing of a circle - a circle protecting the peace, love and gratefulness I feel sharing my life with this darling man. I'm no longer nitpicking, or resisting, or hiding any part of myself. My heart is fully open, and I feel very much at home and contented. It feels so good to finally be here. Tis the season to give and recieve, and I feel I finally know how to do both of these things right.
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