Change of Plans

Back during the Winter months, I sat with my sweetheart across the table from an old friend of his, who in the last couple of years has really made some dramatic changes to her physical health and fitness level. It was inspiring to see how she completely reshaped herself and got back to her best and healthiest weight.  It was also really fun to hear her describe her actual exploits – she can run farther, bike farther and do many things with great strength and endurance. 

I really like this woman, and I cheer her on when she updates us on Facebook.  Considering she’s around my age, I am just so impressed with what she’s achieved and want to follow her lead.  She has truly become an athletic and very fit person, beyond merely liking activity and getting out once a week or so.  She is active on a daily basis and has really focused on her health.  Despite making enormous strides, she still continues to improve and work on it, even focusing on what she eats and preparing her own food more.
 
When she suggested Scott and I participate in a triathlon with her and a number of other mutual friends this May, the words “let’s do it!” came flowing easily out of my mouth.  I wanted the challenge.  I’m a good swimmer, love riding my bike, and felt I could run the distance with some training.   I had plenty of time to prepare, and I wanted a goal.  

Well, now I am a little over a month away from the day of the event, and I don’t feel ready.  Life got very busy with a move, and I made some logistical decisions recently which have been important for my mental health and peaceful home life which have affected my ability to to take personal time regularly.  My “training” has been very spotty and for some elements of the event, simply non-existent.  I’ve not made it to the pool even once (barring the recent trip to Kah-Nee-Ta with the kids).  I think if I had been preparing for a biking event, I’d be ready, because I like riding into work and have been doing that.  I can focus on that one thing,  and think I could even fit in longer rides on weekends.  If I had only been training for a 5K, I might have been ready, because I would have been focusing on just the running, and I have a gym and the treadmills, and some trails by my office.  Could have used my lunch break.  As it stands, I have been pulled in many directions, and have felt paralyzed and stressed out about it.  I’m never been good at spreading my energy around to many different things at once, even though I have to do it on a daily basis, just to keep things going for my household of 4.

So, now, such a short time away, I have pulled out of the triathlon to let a wait-lister participate.  I don’t like the feeling that I’ve “quit” at all.  It just doesn’t feel good.  But frankly, the idea of participating in the triathlon quit being fun and started to feel like something to dread.  I need “fun” right now, especially when it comes to my health and fitness.  I’ve decided to focus on cycling as my primary fitness tool.  It’s more fun for me than it’s ever been.  Last Summer I had a blast on my bike and I still feel so much more confident riding than I have ever before in my life.  And now I finally have the bike and the gear to really dig in and enjoy it  more.  I’m excited again about the prospect of getting more fit.  I thank Scott for pushing me in this direction.  I love that I can commute by bicycle.  It really fits with my desire to leave less of a carbon footprint, and I see real results in terms of my fitness.  I simply love that I get to work full of fantastic energy to apply to my job, and I appreciate the stress-relieving transition to my home life in the afternoons, too. 

To make up for “quitting” the triathlon, I am setting a new goal.  I want to do a MUCH longer ride this Summer.  I don’t know what yet, and I will talk with Scott about it, and see if he thinks I can do a century, and if so, if he can help me pick out a group ride to go on and help me set up a training plan.  If one thing ends, it’s important to find the next thing and keep moving forward.  I want to be ever-striving, like my inspirational friend, too!

I’ll be updating as I go!

Laissez les bon temps rouler!

Kee-yaw, but I scared the heck out of one of the owners of my company this morning!  I had ridden my bike to work and because it was raining out, I decided to bring my bike inside to store in my cubicle before heading over to the gym next door to shower.  I didn’t expect to bump into anyone in MY cube so early in the morning, but I was surprised myself when I nudged someone just as I  pushed the bike past the cube wall.  I heard Cathy let out a startled yelp just before I saw her surprised expression.  She was standing there with a feathered Mardi Gras mask in her hand, looking sort of sheepish.  Turns out I busted her hanging Mardi Gras decorations in my cube! 

It took me a minute to sort this out in my head, but I quickly remembered that Cathy is aware of a trip I’m planning to go on if I hit my personal sales goals for this quarter, and she wanted to help provide incentive!  My friend, Shellie, and I are going to take a long-talked about trip to New Orleans during the Jazz Heritage Festival in May of this year.   Our sales trainer has been encouraging us sales people to set personal goals above and beyond our quota numbers, and to make it more real and more fun by coming up with a reward for accomplishing those goals.  Makes sense to me! 

He has also encouraged us to tell other people and even include them somehow if we think it will make us work harder.  I figured he was on to something, so I told Shellie that I was ready to take that trip if I hit my personal goal of hitting 130% of my quarterly quota.  Well, she was all for it and immediately started sending me a steady stream of links of places we could stay and things we could do.  The pressure was on to hit that goal, because I couldn’t risk letting Shellie down!

I don’t know how, but that extra pressure HAD to have some influence over my focus or something, because I’m at 110% of my quarterly  PERSONAL goal right now, and it’s only February 1st!  We are definitely going – and boy are we excited!  Just one more sale before the end of March will do it.  I think I need to set some supplementary goals to keep this drive going!  I want to visit my family in the heart of Cajun Country, too, so I will need to earn a little more for that part of the trip.

I’ve wanted to go to the Jazz Heritage Festival since my early 20’s.  This is going to be a dream come true, and I can’t wait to “pass a good time, cher!”

Low Key Celebration

I’m sitting here in my work cubicle at 6:45 on a Friday evening here at the end of the month, pulling on a Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale, listening to the Plasiticenes, perusing photo blogs and occasionally laughing at my boss’s conversation a few feet behind me.  Yeah, he had to work late, too - and he’s enjoying the beer, too.  I’m not even sad that I’ve missed the Floating Glass Balls at the Laurelthirst this evening, even though I was looking forward to hanging out with Andrew and the guys.  No, I’m actually quite pleased with everything right here and right now.  I’m enjoying the really fine feeling of knowing that at 375% of my monthly quota, I have already hit and surpassed my quarterly quota, and it’s only January.  I’m in bonus territory and everything I sell from here until the end of the quarter is worth twice as much to me as it would be worth if I were not over the quarterly number.  I’ve never been here before in any quarter, much less January.  It’s a superb way to start out the year, I tell ya.

Riding the wave, but watching the horizon. Pictures by Scott Saulsbury

Ever since  watching surfers chase and ride waves at Seaside Cove a  couple of  weeks ago,  I've been playing around with the idea that surfing paralles life in terms of what level of perserverence you need to ultimately be succesful and really enjoy it.  Just as surfers need to set their sights on that best location and head boldly into the crashing waves in order to catch those good waves, we need sometimes in life, to dive in with gusto, tackling each of our challenges with fresh vigor, and renewed zeal, in order have those good moments in life that keep us moving forward, and ultimately feeling contented in the long run.

The surfers are amazing to watch.  I admire their heartiness and their zest for adventure.  That water is cold, and it looks like quite an effort to get out and make it to just the right wave. Heck, for me it would be an effort just to get the wet suit on!  And it's so exciting when someone catches a good one and then rides it for awhile,  some of them kicked back on their long board like Mr. Aloha, the "Keep on Truckin" guy, riding in on the energy of the swell.  It has to be a great feeling, well worth the effort spent, even if the ride is short.   That good feeling keeps 'em going back for more.

Life is so very like that.  I feel like I'm riding a sweet wave right now, and I had to push through some rough patches and some challenges in 2009.  But now, for the moment, things are really clicking along and I feel great.  Work is as busy as ever, but I'm energetic and focused and ready for challenges as they come up.  Everything just seems easier, for some reason.  Things are going well personally, too.  I'm  catching up financially and making myself more secure in the future.  Also, I'm back in a relationship with someone I trust and really fit with.  This relationship works well for both of us and we're happy, even if it might seem a little odd to others and even us at times.   I wished for a new camera while I was out there watching surfers. I wanted to be able to capture some fun shots along with my sweetheart.  Well, I have that camera now, and it's a joy to play with.  And of course my family is thriving.  My kids are growing, and and we're finding new ways to work together and grow as a family.  The challenges are still there, but we're working through them and making it work.

I'm already setting new goals and preparing for new challenges in the coming months, because this, like every other wave, is going to dissipate.  I'll need to keep striving to catch the next one, then the next one and the next.  I want to keep on enjoying this journey called life.

I like today.

Good things happened today.  I am too excited to put a lot of thought into how I express what was good, so I will just blurt it all out as it comes.

I've been frustrated about the disingenous way the principal of a firm I've been working with has been communicating and dealing with me in terms of the actions he has taken to stall out our "deal.".  I've been approaching the sales process with him with a very "win/win" attitude, like I typically do, and have been thwarted by his unmet promises and "win/lose" tactics.  It's been very frustrating.  It bothers me to take someone at their word and move forward with what I believe is their best interest and our own at heart, only to find they have been holding out on me and manipulating the situation.  He has cost me a significant amount of money by stalling this deal past the end of year deadline we agreed upon,  and almost more importantly to me,  he cost me a slight loss of face with people whose opinions matter to me, when he didn't do what he said he would.  Based on his answers to my questions about whether I had met their needs and they were ready to move forward, I led my boss and the owner of my company to believe we had a deal they could count on.  Luckily the people I work with understand my integrity and follow through, and they trust that I met my end of the bargain and asked all the right questions.  Still, it bothers me to be so disrespected in a business transaction when I've shown such good faith and gone beyond the normal effort to get them what they need to feel comfortable moving forward with us.

So what is so good about all of this?!  Well, I had the opportunity today to say "NO".  "NO" we do not feel comfortable moving forward with a firm whose leadership does not trust us.  "No" I do not want to compromise our integrity by giving into unfair demands that we change our license agreement to meet their lack of faith in us.  "NO." 

But I softened it by saying also that I'm sorry I've let them down.  Surely I wasn't doing my job if they feel they can't move forward in a deal because they don't trust us.  I've dropped the ball somehow if they don't have a much confidence as I do that we can meet their needs and will treat them fairly.  I wish I could have better earned their confidence, I told him. 

Well, I tried to tell him anyway.  He stopped me in mid apology to say, (and I parphrase) "No, no - please don't take this personally - I don't doubt your integrity, or the good faith your CEO has shown.  We simply have had too many bad experiences with businesses who don't do business this way, and have adopted overzealous practices in analyzing deals.  I would like to take time with my staff to see if we can move forward with what you offer and will call you tomorrow.  Please don't take our methods personally.  You have shown good faith.

I expect to have this deal tomorrow, but even if I don't, I feel we have won. 

It was indeed a good day.

Milestones

Sitting here at the start of 2010, desirous to reach out toward new goals and fresh milestones, I feel a bit thwarted by unfinished business which belongs, really, with the passing year.  I'm very happy to say I reached my yearly sales quota and qualified for the big kicker which will mean a much more financially secure 2010 for me.  Still there is a large promised check still out there from one of the firms who has promised to move forward with our product.  Our accountant has agreed to hold the sale in 2009 if - and only if - they actually fax or email the check on Monday, January 4th like they promised.  She also expects to receive the real check within the week.  It would mean quite a bit more money to me if it were counted in 2009 - and so I am eager to see if they will be good to their word, and that's what has me feeling like I have unfinished business.  It's a strange and anti-climactic feeling to be waiting on this final bit of business, and I'm truly ready to be done with the stress of the last couple of months.  It has exhausted me and my energy for things I'd also like to focus on, like my family, writing and planning for the new year.  Of course I am relieved to have hit the number I needed to hit, but I find it a tad irksome to still be without final closure in that regard.  I'm looking forward to tomorrow to find out just exactly what kind of closure I will have.  It's nice to know it will be either very, very good, or it will be phenomenal!

It's funny how my job so parallels life.  Here at the start of a new year I, like most people, think about new goals and fresh starts.  About what I want to achieve, how I want to be different or better, and what I will continue to nurture.  Sales is so like that.  I sit down at the beginning of each month, each quarter and especially each new year and I think about what I achieved in the past.  I think about how I have managed accounts, about what worked well, and what I could do better.  I take stock of how much I've learned about our software and what I want to be able to better show my customers.  I start planning for the next month, quarter or year, and how I want to become more competent.  Some of it is out of my hands, as I don't set my quotas and can't control what my territory will be.  I do know what I've done well, and what I could be better at personally, and I have grown more confident about my unique abilities and what I can actually achieve and contribute as a senior person on our little sales team.   I'm ready to really own my position at work, just as I am ready to jump into 2010 with gusto and confidence about what I have to offer in my personal life.

I continue to be thankful for the opportunity afforded me by this company I work for.  As I strive to improve what I do for them, I am also improving what I can do for myself and my family.  I am now in a much better financial position to be even more independent than I've been since I started working nearly four years ago, several months after I left my unhealthy marriage.  I'm also better set up to take care of some important business of closure with regards to that time.  Personal milestones will be met and new, more exciting ones set.  Like in my job, I won't be able to control everything that happens, but I know what tools I have at my disposal to use when I need them. 

I like where I am today.  I've got all I need to continue to pursue a very satisfying life.  I'm fortunate to have my precious loved ones, my good health and a good paying job that I enjoy.  I don't want to squander the opportunity that comes with this current balance and good fortune.  I want to apply the strategy we use in sales of setting goals and milestones, both short term and long, to this upcoming year and decade.  I haven't done it fully yet, because I'm still hung up a little on 2009, but I plan to sit down very soon and really priortize my personal goals and figure out how I can meet them.  I never want to quit striving to live in and appreciate the current moment, because I'm convinced the journey truly is far more important than the destination.  But I wish for this moment to flow easily in the next one, and then the next  moment and then the one after that.  I wish for that flow, which I know will ebb from time to time, to continue forward and become more full - so that I can share more joy and ease more pain in this good life.