Being

I've been very content these days, and it if weren't so late, I'd likely try to capture my feelings about it more poetically. For now I just feel the need to mark the realization that I've just been comfortable in my skin for weeks on end, it seems.  Work has been both demanding and rewarding, and there have been some ups and downs at home..  I'm not as fit as I'd like to be, though I've enjoyed working on fixing that. There are areas of my home which I'd really like to better organized, even as I create lovely spaces in others parts of the house.  I 've been stepping outside of some of my norms by hiking with new people, and also remembering to take more time alone at other times.  Life has not really changed dramatically, but there have been splashes of real change and also tiresome old problems that crop up still, but despite the sometimes chaotic flow of life around me, both good and bad, I'm finding that, at my core, I am still and quiet and peaceful. 

I like this sense of quietude at the center of me.   I am calm and observant and unworried.  It's been there before, that nugget of calm at my core, but it seems it's growing and affecting more of my life every day.  I see it in how I handle setbacks, and how I react to good tidings and postive excitement, too.  I can smile inwardly and enjoy things without worrying what will be next.  I am relaxed and confident in my dealings with people, and I don't give anything or anyone over much thought, except to engage things and people in the current moment.  I like being present and centered like this.  I find I make new friends and enjoy old ones very easily when I'm like this - even more so than usual. I feel no nervous self-consciousness.  I'm just me, here and now, and I'm finding that people truly like talking to me and I enjoy them as well.  And it's all very natural and comfortable.  It has made work a very relaxed endeavor, even as I strive to stay focused and make more calls.

The more I try to explain what feels so right, the less I feel I have adequately done so.  But that's okay.  I know what I mean and I am not anxious about it.   I will go to sleep tonight with a contended, grateful heart, very much at peace with the world.