Painting the Town Red

Yesterday afternoon, when I serendipitously had childcare arranged for the evening, my friend, Richard, asked me out to dinner out of the blue. "How delightful!" I thought. "Yes!" I said. When he asked me where I wanted to go, I said, "Surprise me!" I was in the perfect mood to step outside of my box - both literally and figuratively. I didn't want to make decisions; I just wanted to have fun. The only thing I wanted to think about was what to wear. Instead of throwing on a pair of jeans and a comfy top, I decided to dress up. I looked at several Summer dresses I bought this year for my vacation, and I finally chose the tomato red number I had so much fun in one fabulous day and night in New Orleans. It didn't take much else to look ready to go - a simple fresh water pearl and silver necklace and earrings are all I added to dress it up. Red kind of makes a statement all it's own!

Now, I've thought about wearing this dress ever since being back in Oregon with it this Summer, but it just never seemed right. The weather has been too cold some evenings, or I had nowhere to go in it on other evenings. Plus, it's kind of a femme fatale dress, because of the way it accentuates curves and demands attention with it's vibrant color. I just haven't felt comfortable standing out like that since I've been back from New Orleans. My inhibitions get in the way here in Portland, it seems. Back in New Orleans, I felt so free and feminine - just comfortable with myself and my curves. Maybe it was because I was vacation, and I refused to let any negative body image spoil my good time. Or, maybe it was New Orleans, herself. There was certainly a heady magic in the air there! It could have also been because men smiled at me and complimented me there everywhere we went. I hadn't been flirted with like that in years! Whatever it was, it made me feel so much more relaxed, and sexy. And much less inhibited about slipping into this knockout dress.

Last night I decided it was time to kick my inhibitions to the curb. Even after I had it on and had fixed my makeup and hair, though, I was still not sure it was the right thing to wear. But then, Stella and Annie saw me. "Mom! You look so beautiful!" Stella exclaimed. Annie grinned broadly, and said, "I like that dress!" Their dad, who was over to watch them and Evan, just sort of just swallowed and mumbled something affirmative. I knew he liked the way I looked. That was all I needed. I added a touch of the perfume I bought in New Orleans, and out the door I went, feeling very womanly and pretty.

Richard had suggested La Buca, a Northwest/Italian type place for dinner, so I headed over to the East side and found some parking down the street, a couple of blocks from the restaurant. I got that little nervous feeling about the dress again just before I stepped out of the car, but it backed down quickly and confidence took over when, as I walked down the street, I realized that people were not only noticing me, but smiling broadly at me. Two women complimented me, and men stopped their conversations to glance over at me. Wow - did that make me walk tall! I truly felt like a million bucks when I crossed the street to meet my friend. It was easy to smile and he had a big smile in return and lovely compliments, too. We had a great meal, lovely conversation, and I felt really wonderful all evening. It was a perfect way to spend a Friday evening in Portland.

I will remember how confident and pretty I felt and I will do that again. Sometimes you just have to get your girly-girl on!

Play ball!

I would never have guessed how much I would enjoy playing softball on Axium's first year, co-ed, C league team.  I initially struggled with making the commitment to play.  "Do I really want one more thing I have to do?"  I kept asking myself.  Thankfully, the commitment was a small one.  How could I say no to one night a week, likely no practices, and no weekend games or tournaments?   I couldn't.  I figured I could do that, and signed up to play.  Now I play every Tuesday.  And I'm loving it!

At first the Axium Scope Creeps struggled to get enough players, especially women, so I felt pressure to be there.  But each and every time I showed up, I was glad I did.  It was several games before we actually had a win, but we have so much fun, it doesn't matter much!

It's actually pretty entertaining having players on our team who never even saw a baseball or softball game before, much less played one!  It makes for some good laughs.  Wale and George are both from Nigeria and then England.  They have lots of moxie and athleticism - hell, George was an Olympic Long Jumper in his day - but neither know the rules of the game.  So, there's all this power and grace, but no logic or plan behind it. It's frustrating, but also hysterical to see Wale stand at home plate seemingly enjoying being a spectator as the opposing team makes plays on his hits.  Sometimes he has to be reminded to run.  And, then there's George, who can run like noone else, but CAN'T STOP!  He plows through second base nearly every time!  Scares the bejeesus out of whoever is playing second, to see this very tall, athletic, powerful looking and FAST man tearing down the line toward them, with no hint of slowing down.  If they don't yet have the ball, then find that he's off he base once they do have it, and then things get very funny as George dances around trying not to be tagged.  We can't help but laugh, and then sheepishly make references to how far away Nigeria is to explain things to the opposing team.  But we love that they're out there playing and we have all enjoyed the comraderie, especially as the season goes on.  More and more people reliably show up, and the crew at McGuffy's Pub after the game has doubled since that first night a handful of us showed up there to enjoy beer and tell stories about good plays and funny errors.

For me, this softball team has given me a physical outlet for my competitive nature.  I enjoy sports, and sometimes forget how much fun it is to actually play the game and not just cheer someone else on.  And oh, how I love playing first base.  It's not too hard on my knees (except when I use them, instead of my glove to stop a line drive), and I don't have to run a lot, but I see lots of action and get to look cool under pressure sometimes.  If you aren't scared to catch balls thrown in a huge variety of ways, it's not a hard position at all. 

Batting is fun, too, if you let it be.  Gotta shake off any pressure, and just swing the bat like it's practice.  I try to remember the feel of the bat connecting well with the bat and visualize it leaping off the bat past the infielders before I hit.  Such a sweet sensation when that happens!  Tonight I especially liked the hard drive I hit between the first and second basemen to advance the runner and get on first.  I wanted the RBI, and I got it.  Plus, the hit felt great.  Solid.  Nice to have one like that in a game.  Feels SO good.

It's also really fun to watch your friends show off their skills.  We've got some athletic people on the team, and win or lose, there's always some great play to story-tell about after the game. 

In the end, though, what I like the very best is being outside on a warm Summer evening, with people I genuinely like, playing a fun game.   We're out there running, hitting, throwing, catching, talking smack -  and best of all smiling and laughing and living in the moment.   It's nice to be a part of something shared like this.  It's nice to play, even if just for a couple of hours once a week.  It makes me feel like I'm a kid again, playing baseball in the field on my uncle's property with my cousins and all the neighborhood kids.   Nothing else mattered during those games.  We were caught up in the game,  and played hard with contented hearts focused solely on what was at hand.  There's nothing else quite like it - this little piece of American Summer sweetness.  I'm savoring this chance to do it it again.

More Flowers...

Yesterday the kids and I went to the Zoo and Portland's International Rose Test Garden.  I was delighted with all the beautiful flowers in both places!  Click on any of these for a larger image.

Peppermint and Beef Jerky...

These are the two items I decided to bring with me for sustenance when I went hiking on Saturday, along with my cannister of water.  I had been thinking about my Granddad, and I did this to honor him.  It's what he always carried, if he carried nothing else when we went hiking back when I was a kid. 

I fondly recall us taking off for impromptu hikes, stopping first to fill his waist pack with peppermints, which were ever-present in one of the house candy jars, and beef jerky, which there always seemed to be a good supply of in my Grandparent's home.  Once we had hiked a good while and reached a proper rest stop with a view, we'd break out the goodies and soak it all in.  It was always stunning.  Either an eagle's view of a valley below us, or a view of an cold, clear alpine lake, or simply an amazing stand of aspen during the change of season when they were all gold and flickering.  After chatting a bit, Granddad would always take a catnap (with a smile on his face!), and I'd explore the vicinity.  I can't eat either peppermint or beef jerky without thinking of those good times - and wanting to get out to the mountains.

Granddad must have been with me yesterday, because good things started happening right away.  Things that reminded me of him.  First of all was the great sale on one of my favorite brands of jerky - the luck!  Then, on my way out of Gresham on Hwy 26, I saw this old, but great looking, '70-something Datsun pickup that was so similar to the one he and I beat around in on the backroads and dirt roads on our way to trailheads in the mountains near Durango, Colorado in the '70's.  The only differences were the color (Grandad's was blue, and this one was a bright orange), the OPB and NRDC bumper stickers, and the camper shell on this fabulous orange version.  The one I saw on Saturday looked like this:

I took it as an omen for a great day.  I drove along with a big 'ol smile on my face.  And I smiled even more broadly when I got a peek a the driver.  What a character!  Must have been in her late 60's or early 70's - with bright white hair tied in a colorful bandana, silver bangles on her wrist and this fantastic blue denim oxford shirt, that was exactly like the ones my grandad used to wear!  She's was enjoying music and tapping in rythym on her rear view mirror.  She was beautiful!  I had to compliment her rig when we were stopped at a red light in Sandy.  She loved hearing it, and seemed to enjoy the story behind my admiration, too.  I wish I could have a cup of coffee with this woman to get to know her better.  There was just something about her.  I had happy thoughts revolving around her and how I want to live my life all the way up to the mountain.

After a brief and accidental side trip out Lolo Pass Road (and stunning views of Mt. Hood!), I finally found my way up to the Top Spur Trailhead.  I parked, got my pack on, called Molly and headed up the Top Spur trail, on my way to the Timberline trail.   I found myself huffing and puffing a bit.  I'm not in the shape I'd like to be in this Summer.  I started to take a break, but then remembered Granddad encouraging me to go a little further all those many years ago.  He'd tell me to hum a song or think of something else to keep my mind off my steps.    If we kept stopping, we'd never get to our real rest stop, he'd say.  Again, I smiled, remembering his advice, and I hummed myself along.  And I marvelled at the wildflowers along the way, trying to remember their names.  Granddad almost always knew, and if he ever didn't, we'd be looking them up in his field guide on wildflowers, which he'd nearly always have with him. 

There were plenty of wildflowers on this hike.  So many it surprised me.  At first I saw mostly Trillium and the remains of Bunchberry, but I also saw a few Indian Paintbrush. As I got out of the trees, I found I was walking through tons more bright red Indian Paintbrush, lots of purple spears of Mountain Lupine, bright and beautiful Leopard Lillies, Foxgloves and something I later learned is called Alpine Fawn Lillies, or possibly also called Avalanche Lillies!  I had to use the internet for that one, because I don't actually own a wildflower field guide.  There was also Beargrass in abundance, still not fully bloomed.  As I climbed higher, I saw Glacier Lillies and Mariposa Lillies.  I couldn't help but think about how much Grandad would have enjoyed this day full of color and stunning vistas!

I had planned to go to a spot I hiked to last Summer, but I took the "wrong" trail and ended up hiking much farther.  I'm so glad for this happy accident, because if I hadn't "messed up," I would never have seen the beautiful streams with lush green moss and other plants, and I would have missed the the giant, and very stunning rockslide.  Most importantly, my mistake led me to the most beautiful meadow I've seen in a long while, with lovely shallow ponds, which were not only lined with bright green delicate grass, but reflected the mountain beautifully.  It was a sight which brought tears to my eyes. 

The sun was getting too low in the sky to go further, so I took off my pack, sat down and enjoyed this jewel of a place.  And I savored my jerky with the warm sun on my shoulders, then chased that with a pretty little peppermint candy, while Molly explored the vicinity.  I shared some jerky with Molly, too.  Then I closed my eyes and I smiled. 

Then I said outloud, "Thank you,for sharing the best things with me, Granddad."

The Mountains in Bloom

Went on a stunningly beautiful  hike near Mt. Hood on Sunday.  The flowers were lovely:

Mountain Daisies

Leopard Lillies

Leopard Lilly

More Leopard Lillies!

Indian Paintbrush

Glacier Lillies

More Glacier Lillies

More Glacier Lillies

Budding Bear Grass

Bear Grass in full bloom

Checking things off...

Ever since I've moved into this little, tiny house, I've struggled to find a place for everything.  I've had boxes full of stuff stacked everywhere, and it's very annoying to me.  My carport, in particular, has been a total mess - and a huge embarrassment to me.  Since there is no garage, all the stuff has been just sitting out there for the neighborhood to see.  Today I took care of some of that.

1.  I finally set up the "Gorilla Rack" I bought from A-Boy some months ago.  That allowed me to empty the boxes of auto supplies, special cleaners, dog shampoo, bike cleaning supplies and that sort of thing, which were piled up all over the carport.  They now have their own special place, and this makes me very happy.

2.  I broke down ALL of the empty cardboard boxes from the move and set them up to go out with recycling on Monday morning.  Looks SO much better!

3.  I went to A-Boy and got some screws so the kids' dad could help me hang the heavy, white utility cabinet I bought at a garage sale around the time I was moving in here.  It hangs on one of the house sides out under the carport above the "Gorilla Rack" shelving system I set up, and it holds the kids art supplies.  Ta Daaaa!

4.  Ron also put up the bicycle hangers I bought for the carport while he was at it, too, so now the kids bikes can be put up and out the way - and locked even!  Now I have way more room in the little storage shed out back, because the bikes aren't in there.  I have put the boxes of winter boots and such, which were also sitting out on the carport, in the backyard storage shed - and out of sight!

5.  I also finally delivered the pile of stuff I had collected for Goodwill.  It looks so much better now that it's all gone and not sitting there gathering dust and cobwebs!

6.  Since Ron was here with the kids earlier, and I was trying to get other things done, he mowed the lawn for me.  It wasn't so high that I couldn't take care of it or anything like that, but it sure is nice that I don't have to mess with it again for awhile!

I feel so much better about the front of my house, even though the house itself isn't much to look at.  It's just so much more tidy than it's been.  I feel so much lighter having taken care of so much of it today.  I do have a few more things to take care of, though.

I will be calling Goodwill, or some other organization to come and pick up the derelict sofa my landlady left here.  She told me she wanted, but never did pick it up, so it's been sitting out on the carport gathering dust and getting faded out, until I covered it in a garish orange tarp.  She recently told me I could have someone come take it way, in an airy voice suggesting that she never meant for me to leave it out there.  (whatever...I'm just happy that it will be gone soon)

I think I want to put some hanging flower baskets out front, to add something bright and cheery to
this drab little, light blue box.  I will go look for something tomorrow!

Now...off for some reading.  In peace!

Back in the Saddle

Finally, this morning, I have pumped up my tires, dusted off my seat and handles and gotten back on my bike.  I even actually rode it into work.  I feel fantastic.

I don’t know why I’ve not ridden for most of the Summer, but I do know that I missed it.  I will have to work harder at it for awhile because I’ve lost my fitness momentum, but I am looking forward to those endorphins that I really need in my life for balance and mental health – never mind keeping weight off.

I’m looking forward to the way that riding again will help me continue to overcome the feelings of being overwhelmed that I’ve had in recent months.  I’m working to prioritize and simplify my life as best I can, and exercise is the missing piece that’s most critical to me at this juncture.  Playing softball once a week just doesn’t cut it!  

Here’s to climbing back on that “horse!”